I was reading my prayer journal a while ago, and I am surprised to see some of my entries. I never thought that I would be writing such kind of entries. It seems that it was not I who wrote it. Maybe I was in a trance of some sort.

One particular entry I wrote was about the clouds. It is just a short entry of less than 10 sentences, but the message was something I did not expect. It was written during the second day of our five-day silent retreat at the Mirador Jesuit Villa in Baguio.

Here’s the entry:

I am looking at the clouds. When I was young, I thought that we can walk on clouds and angels go around and play on them. Of course, I also thought that Jesus was there. But when I went to school, it suddenly dawned on me that clouds are just product of condensation. The image of Jesus on the clouds vanished into thin air. Interestingly, here in Mirador, I suddenly realized that Jesus is over the clouds, the clouds inside my heart, inside my being. He is on them. He is over them because he is more powerful than them.

You see, when you are praying, you tend to feel a lot of emotions all at the same time. Try writing after or even during your prayer. Who knows? You might be the next Teresa of Avila or Therese of Lisieux.

At the same time, I really want to watch 500 Days of Summer. Just a random thought.

“The mass is ended. Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.”“Thanks be to God.”

“A dream,” I murmured as I got up from bed. I went to the bathroom to do the usual things: washing my face, brushing my teeth and taking a bath. After bath, (I put on my briefs, of course) I wore a pair of black pants with my white T Shirt. I looked at the window. “This is the day,” I whispered as I don my Roman-collar polo. I felt a surge of sadness as I went down the stairs to have breakfast.

“Good morning. Are you ready?” asked my mother who prepares my father’s coffee. I nodded to answer her. “You look sad,” My mom said, “you must be happy. You’ve waited for this day for ten years,” she added. Moms knows best, I thought as I embraced her. “Thanks for supporting me, Ma.” I said as I went back to my chair.

My dad showed up, followed by my sister and my brother, 18 and 15 respectively. We exchaged greetings and had an enjoying breakfast. After breakfast, we were ready to leave. I went back to my room to get my vestments. Once again, I gazed at the window.

Oh beauty! I did not have the time to tell you I much I  treasured our friendship. Thanks for being there for me. I lo..

“Son, time is running out. We’ll be late with our appoinment.” I wiped off the tears rolling down my cheeks. I read the invitation.

THE ORDINATION OF…

I then remembered what Kevin said. Choices are choices. There’s no turning back. Yes. There is no turning back. I have waited for ten years. And here it is, at last. I went down and got in the car. It was a long drive. We were now in Intramuros.

I put on my vestments. It’s time.

“Let he who is to be ordained priest please come forward.” Said someone I don’t know. We were walking down the aisle. I saw different faces. I saw different dresses. I saw a familiar face. It was she. What is she doing here?

As we prostrated in front of the altar, I still kept on thinking why she was there. She should be in her office working. Why am I thinking about her? I should be praying by this time. “Let us pray…” said the bishop. And the services continued as it were.

“Brothers and Sisters, I now present to you, Reverend Father…” I am now a priest! I kissed my mother and my father. I embraced my brother and my sister. I then proceeded to greet my colleagues.

But someone approached me. “Congratulations,” the voice said. I turned and saw her. ”I know you can do it. By the way, here a gift for you.” She handed me a small box. I stood there dumbfounded. “Hey! Gising ka ba?” she asked. I smiled and accepted her gift. “Thank you for coming. You made me very happy.” She blushed. “Actually, I have a meeting to attend to but I canceled it just for you.” Imagine. A girl canceling her meeting just for me. “Really? Thank you very much.” She then kissed me.

I woke up. Everything was just a dream.

Just recently, I was looking over my desktop and I noticed a software I haven’t tried using. It’s the SketchUp by Google. Curious as I was, I tried using it. And I can’t get my eyes off my computer!

I’ve been designing some guess what – churches using this software. As soon as I finish my first, I would sure post it here.

By the way, my lola is planning to visit lolo and tita on Friday – that is in the cemetery. haha. Of course we will also visit them. How about you guys?

Let me finish with a quote from Evening Prayer II, Common of Apostles, Antiphon 3:

I no longer call you servants, but my friends, for I have shared with you everything I have heard from my Father.

Have a nice day guys!

It is nice to be back. Well it has been a while since I last posted. No. It’s not just a while. It was a millennium!

I had my passion to write awakened by let us call him Brother. He is a seminarian just like me. And he is now in France for his regency? or Pastoral Exposure.

I am going to change the nature of my blog – something that is more telling of a seminarian. I’ll be writing some of my day-to-day experiences but I’ll be focusing more on the wholesome side.

So today, I will be talking about briefs. Yay!

No. Not the one you’re thinking about.

Brief in Latin is brevis. And this is the root word of our topic today, the breviary.

If you ever had a seminarian boyfriend, or even priest friends, there is a great possibility that you have seen this book. This is the book bound in black leather with lots of ribbons and even cards containing pictures of the saints and cellphone numbers.

This book contains the Liturgy of the Hours which is one of the official prayers of the Church. This is the Church’s way of sanctifying the hours.

Before the reform of the 2nd Vatican Council, there were 8 hours in which the prayers are said: the Matin(at cock crow?), Lauds (Morning Prayer), Prime (6am), Terce (9am), Sext (12nn), None(3pm), Vespers (Evening Prayer) and Compline (Night Prayer). Today, believe that they still exist though in practice, I only do Lauds, Vespers and Compline (or should I call it Night Prayer. Since almost all day, seminarians and priests recite the Divine Office, the breviary was called the wife of a seminarian / priest.

The time it takes to recite the breviary may vary from 10 minutes to 45 minutes. If I do it myself, it takes me around 15 minutes but if I recite it with my community we take 20-25 minutes. I don’t know why. Maybe because we sing some part.

For beginners, the use of the breviary may be very complicated. When I was still new to the breviary, I never had a ‘perfect prayer.’ It was either I was in the wrong week in the psalter or I was in a different Common. But if you get used to it, you’ll be able to enjoy your prayer time. It’s like having a new phone. It may be complicated at first, but if you get the hang of it, you’ll enjoy the use.

Well, I guess this is all for now.

Is it I, Lord? 

Taliwas sa aking pag-uugali ang nais kong tahaking landas. Alam ng lahat yan. Isa akong makulit na bata. Maingay. Sinungaling. Makasalanan. Lahat ng kabaligtaran ng daan na nais ko, nasa akin nga siguro. Pero sa ilalim nito, nagtatago ang isang liwanag. Liwanag na siyang patuloy kong sinusundan, sinusunod at iginagalang.

Gusto kong maging pari. Alam ng lahat yan. Maliit pa lamang ako, pangarap ko na iyon. Nariyang isuot ko ang kumot at magkilos pari. Hindi ako nakuntento doon. Nariyan ang panahon na sa sobrang pagnanais ko na maging pari, hinanap ko sa internet ang lahat ng tungkol dito. Pumasok din ako sa samahang Altar Servers para mas makita ko ng malapitan kung ano nga ba ng ginagawa nila. Sobra akong tinangay ng aking pagnanais na kunin ang bokasyong tingin ng iba ay di bagay sa akin.

Dumadating rin minsan ang mga panahon na sa sobrang pagkatangay ko sa bokasyong ito, nawawala sa aking isipan ang tunay na kahulugan ng pagpapari. Dumadating ang oras na hindi ko man lang Siya iniisip. Natatangay ako ng panlabas na anyo ng pagpapari. Nawawala minsan ang tunay na kahulugan.

May mga panahon din na naguguluhan ako kung saang Order ako bibilang. Nariyang kausapin ko ang mga paring Agustino dito sa lumang simbahan. May pagkakataon na ding nakausap ko ang isang paring misyonero at isang Pransiskano nung ako ay nasa Japan. May nakausap na din akong paring Heswita. Marami ring paring Diyosesano o Diocesan na akong nakausap. Naguguluhan ako noon.

Marahil sa paglipas ng panahon, natututo tayo.  Sa aking palagay, sigurado na ako sa aking tatahaking landas. Itutuloy ko na ito. Wala nang atrasan. Maraming tao ang umaasa sa akin. Maraming naghihintay. Nawa’y hindi ko sila mabigo.

Five months without posting. I’ve been too lazy to make a post. Well, here I am again trying to revive my blog. I don’t even know how to make a post now. My mind has been working in Japanese. Hell.

So what’s up?

Time flies fast. I remember this day of last year, I was very busy preparing things for my trip here in Japan. Now, I am still busy– busy preparing for my return.

I started to love Japan. I have gained 7 kilograms, and some inches for my height in just one year! If given a chance, I would really love to extend my stay here. I know it’s far from reality. I am going to miss everything. Enough. I am getting too emotional here. Haha.

While feeling sad about leaving, I am getting excited of going to college. I am a year late compared to my friends but who cares? I still look young. I am still an ikemen. Haha.

Til here. I’ll try to make a post tomorrow.

God Bless!

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Naisip kong sumulat sa Ingles pero pinigil ako ng hiya ko. Oo nga pala, susulat ako ng para sa Buwan ng Wika pero Ingles ang gagamitin ko. Sampal naman yata yun sa pambansang wika natin.Hindi naman lingid sa inyo na isa akong estudyante na nakikipagsapalaran dito sa bansang Hapon. Mahirap para sa isang nagbibinata na malayo sa kanyang mga kaibigan. Pero hindi ito ang nais kong gawan ng sanaysay.

Nang mapadpad ako dito sa bansang Hapon, nakakahiya man sabihin, dalawang salita lang ang alam ko: “Hai” na ang ibig sabihin ay “Opo” at “Arigatou” na ang ibig sabihin ay “Salamat.” Nakakatawang isipin, hindi ko alam ang salitang katumbas ng “Hindi” kaya naman lahat ng sasabihin nila, kahit gusto kong sabihin na hindi ay “Oo” lang ako ng “Oo.” Ngayong nakaapat na buwan na ako dito, masasabi ko na kahit papaano ay nakakintindi na ako.

Nung unang linggo ko dito, dinala ako ng host family ko sa simbahan. Kahit hindi sila Katoliko, Sabi nila na sasamahan nila ako hanggang matapos ang misa. Kaya naman nagpatuloy ako. Nang bandang “Ama Namin” na, nagulat ako nang magsikantahan ang mga hapon ng Tagalog na “Ama Namin”! At hindi lang iyon, sa bandang “Kordero ng Diyos” ay kumakanta rin sila ng Tagalog! Namangha ako sa nakita ko. Kung sila, na hindi Pilipino ay nagtitiyaga na mag aral ng Tagalog, Ibig sabihin, tayo rin ay dapat magtiyaga!

Minsan naman, sa aming pamamasyal, sinabi ng host family ko na manonood kami ng “hotaru”. Tinanong ko sila kung ano iyon. Gamit ang kanilang de-battery na dictionary, nalaman ko na ang hotaru ay firefly. Napaisip ako, ano nga ba sa Tagalog ang firefly???

Nasa loob na ako ng sasakyan noon. Isip pa rin ako ng isip kung ano ang firefly. Napansin ako ng host mother ko. Sabi nya na itanong ko na lang sa mga kaibigan ko. Pero sinagot ko sya. Ang sabi ko alam ko yung salitang katumbas nun sa Tagalog, bigyan lang nila ako ng kaunting panahon. At matapos ang tatlumpu’t walong minuto, naalala ko siya. ALITAPTAP!

Minsan muli, nagpunta ako sa simbahan. Meron kasing seminar para sa mga Pilipino na naninirahan sa lugar namin. Bago magsimula ang seminar, narinig kong nagkwekwentuhan ang mga kababayan natin.

“Alam mo, suwerte yung mga batang Hapon na marunong magtagalog. At least, kahit saan sila tumira eh pupwede sila.”

“Oo nga eh, kaya ako, yung mga anak ko, minsan sa isang linggo ay pinapag aral ko ng Tagalog. Hindi lang tagalog, pati Ilocano eh tinuturo ko.”

“Buti pa nga kayo eh. Yung mga kapit bahay kong Pinoy, bihira kong marinig magtagalog! At yung “bihira” na yun, halos puro mura pa!”

Matapos kong marinig iyon, parang binuhusan ako ng malamig na tubig. Karamihan kasi sa atin, mas gugustuhin pang gamitin ang Ingles. Tapos sasabihing wala naman daw sa wikang gamit yan, kung papaano mo daw ipaparating ang nais mong sabihin, yun daw ang mahalaga. Mapagpaimbabaw!

Bilang pagtatapos, nais ko lang ibahagi ang isa sa mga naisip kong kawikaan habang naliligo sa public bath ng bansang Hapon: Ikaw ay hindi ikaw kung wala kang wika.

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To be exact. It has been 51 days since I last updated. I was just carried away by the excitement and enjoyment of my stay here.

I am now having our summer vacation. Actually, it is not summer vacation. We are required to go to school for club practices and stuff. I can’t understand the logic. Oh well.

I joined the Kendo Club of our school. Only two students joined the club this year. As I see it, theb students are more attracted to sports related clubs.

Also, during the first week of August, we had our Fuji Summer Camp. And I tell you, it’s one of the best.

I would be posting some pictures here, I am still doing my Multiply Account. Gamman please. Gamman.

Kendo.

Ang Seminarista and His Kendo Buddy.

*More at my Multiply Account.

Back in my elementary and high school days, I was an advocate of journalism. It was up to the point that I was really trying hard to be part of the school organ. I was successful though.

In elementary, I joined The Reflector. It was the official school organ of Guadalupe Viejo E S. During the Young Writers’ Press Conferences and Contests, I was a frequent contestant in the category Pagsulat ng Balita or news writing. I always won. I reached the Nationals. It was held in Mandaue City and Lapu-Lapu City, Cebu. Luckily, I won fourth place. That was the golden age of my journalism career.

In high school, I was still eager to join the school paper. I joined Ang Kadluan. During my fourth year days, I was lucky enough to be chosen as the Punong Patnugot or Editor-in-Chief. And During the Regional Confab, I won fourth place. Unfortunately, being in the fourth place is not enough for you to be able to join the Nationals. You must at the top three posts. urgh.

It is also my dream to see my name in the newspaper with the word “By:” and not as the subject of the news. Just then I had the worst event of my life. It was June 20. The first day of our First Term examinations. We were dismissed early. My friends, asked me if I wanted to join them. They will be going to “Joy Mart”. (Walang mall dito lugar ko. Yung Joymart, isa siyang department store na apat na palapag. maliit lang sya. sa Fourth floor, merong parang timezone. hehe. ayun.) So I accepted the offer. We walked to the said place.

First, they ate their o-bento. I did not bring mine since my original plan was to eat at home. I just had a chat with them until they were done. Next, we went to the game station. There, we played the “Air hockey). We enjoyed the game. Then we decided to go home.

When I arrived home, I was reminded by my host father that I was going to have a meeting with the city mayor. I was surprised because it was really not in my monthly schedule. He also said that I should prepare a short self-introduction speech. I hurriedly went to my room, looked for the self-introduction speech I made during the first student council meeting. I tried to memorize the speech. Then, My host mother, pretending she is the mayor, asked me some questions that the mayor might ask. I managed to answer them.

The time came. We went to the city office. I thought it would be a private meeting. By the way, there were two of us who are going to meet the mayor, I and Tang from Thailand. We entered the room and waited for the mayor. Just then, to our surprise, a man with a camera came in. Then, one more, then one more. Also there was a man from the local cable network who entered the room. Ano to! waa.

Finally, Mr. Mitsuo Makino, the city mayor arrived. As a sign of respect, we had to bow and greet each other. Just then flashes of light went into the air. I really wanted to melt in my place. The meeting went on as usual also, the flashes. After the mayor left, we thought we were also leaving. But, the reporters threw some questions. An interview. They asked a lot of things. Questions such as “What’s you’re favorite anime?”, “What’s is exciting in Japan?”, “Why did you come to Japan?” and stuffs like that.

I asked my host father why reporters came to the meeting. He said it was really unusual for the mayor to meet someone. Only a few can be granted permission to meet the mayor. And we were part of that few.

The next day, I saw several newspapers beside my breakfast. I opened it and saw my face. The worst thing ever! But I said, I would keep them as souvenir. When I arrived at school, my teachers were saying they saw me in the newspaper. waa.

I guess it was not bad after all. hehe. Here are the pictures of the newspaper. Enjoy? haha.

It’s me, introducing myself.

Mahiyain ako eh.

It’s me and Tang.

Bangs baby, bangs. haha.

Thanks. Enjoy your weekend guys!

I am very, very sorry for not posting. I was quite busy this past few days because of some importnat matters. Well, I managed to finish them all so here I am now.

Two things prompted me to update my blog. First, I miss it. Second, my parents back in the Philippines are reading it. Unlike Jhed, Moses and Gener who dislikes their blog being read by their kapamilya, I want my parents to read mine para naman maenjoy nila kung anong ineenjoy ko.

So, what made me super busy these past few weeks?

First, I went to the Prefecture English Camp held at Karuizawa Town, where the current Emperor, met the Empress. I met a lot of Japanese students. In that camp, I had my second public bath experience. I took the bath together with my room mate Youichi. Haha. (If you want to see the picture, PM me. haha)

The next thing was the Takato Local Orientation for AFS Students. There, I met the other three AFS students: Max (Canada), Alana (Australia) and Tang (Thailand). There we introduced our countries using MS Powerpoint presentations. There, I had my third public bath experience. haha. Little by little, I am getting used to being naked publicly. Wala naman kasing malisya. At walang bading dito.

After that, I was busy studying for my the First Term Examinations. I only take Math and English. But it is not simple. All the directions are in Nihongo. For the English test, there is a part wherein you have to translate Nihongo to English and vice versa.

As for my friends out there, bloggers and Maksci-ers alike, I wish you all the best in your studies.

And one more thing, I’m adding a new page in my blog. It’s a know more about me page, inspired by Tim Ang’s blog. And, oh, I will be updating this weekly. I have to give more time to my studies. Yeah.